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Little Booey Blue

by Booey Vortex

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1.
you grabbed your hat, your bags are packed, ready to go never understood just why you move so slow after all of that you decide to stay home you better use it babe before you lose it use it babe before you lose it use it babe before you lose it before you lose it bodies close, words in your throat, there's something there never understood just why you feel so scared fall back to bed, with your own head your arms wrapped round thin air you better use it babe (etc.) i look at things, i forge my rings, i float along try to find the perfect words to write the perfect song AND EVEN THOUGH EVERYTHING THAT I DO IS WRONG YOU BETTER USE IT BABE (etc.)
2.
Euphoria 03:35
well i found a way out it wouldn't be that hard it wouldn't be that hard but they won't let me take it i found a way out it would make me happy (it might make me happy) but they don't want us to make it and you can't live within it and you can't live without and you're looking for answers you might always have doubts but let me feel what it could feel like EUPHORIA let me feel you, can be anything you choose you, can be anything you choose you, can be anything you choose well i am so hot today i don't care what you think who cares what they think this is the world we live in we are so hot today and if they don't love us (how could they not love us) why don't they just leave us alone and it sucks to be different it sucks to be the same and we're looking for comfort we might always have pain but let me feel what it could feel like EUPHORIA let me feel you can be anything you choose you can be anything you choose you can be anything you you can be anything you choose
3.
High Hopes 04:44
well what you gonna do for us what you gonna be we produced you to produce something now what's it gonna be little child, gotta find a place for you send your letter and your resume and help us keep it all running smooth (well maybe i'll be a perfect failure stumble around till i fall in a hole and stay there i know you had such HIGH HOPES for me...) well what you gonna do for us we'll ask you one more time we produced you to produce something not sit and wonder why ungrateful child you're one of the lucky few you know we can't provide for everyone if we wanna keep it all running smooth (well maybe i'll teach some troubled children train them to speak like they're on television but nobody has very HIGH HOPES for them...) (well what you gonna do for us) we made the shirt that's on your back (what you gonna be) we make the food you eat (we produced you to produce something) we make sure you can go out and not get blown to smithereens (now what's it gonna be) and if you leave us now you'll get ground up into goo there's nowhere else for you to go and your guts will just keep it all running smooth (well maybe i'll go where you won't follow sit on a hill and wait for something to swallow me whole. yes i still got HIGH HOPES.........)
4.
I'm Alive 06:34
saturday in the park was something called the fourth of july you looked at me your eyes grew dark you told me that you're ready to die remember when so many of us didn't wanna do it anymore they fooled so many of us they fooled so many of us but i'm alive i'm alive and i'm full (yeah i'm full yeah i'm full) of that energy i'm alive i'm surprised that it's a surprise but i'm glad i'm alive yeah i'm full (yeah i'm full yeah i'm full) of that energy yeah i'm full yeah i'm full yeah i'm full of that energy underground in the dark at least we found a place to call home a cold expanse a sudden spark that wild heat surrounding our bones we're alive still alive and we're full (yeah we're full yeah we're full) of that energy still alive don't know how or why but our ancestors survived leaving us leaving us leaving us with that energy yeah we're full yeah we're full yeah we're full of that energy outer space! here we are this planet is too good to exist a breathing ball a thin blue shell an animal that got really sick they dig it up they'll blow it up they don't care they must be stopped cuz we're alive we'll never be as strong as them, they got death on their side but we're full (yeah we're full yeah we're full) of that energy we're alive never feel it quite so much as when you're by my side feeding me feeding you feeding me with that energy yeah we're full yeah we're full yeah we're full yeah we're full overflow overflow yeah we're full yeah we're full yeah we're full of that en er gy
5.
well you have already arrived the moment welcomes you with open arms the moment welcomes you inside because you've already arrived and you 've got love by your side feel how it welcomes you with open arms feel how it knows how hard you try breathing you've already arrived
6.
Beam of Love 02:59
i told you twice, i told you once things i never told anyone before you hit me with that beam of love the only thing i dream of anymore and you know i want you around babe all the goddamn time but when you are here i'm overcome by fear of goodbye well i'm the princess, you're the pea or maybe you're the magic bean oh no in the night you grow so unreal so huge i climb the stalk i can't refuse and you're going round my head babe all the goddamn time oh these ghosts in the dark oh that moment they spark into life can you make it go away please don't let it go away i've got to stop being your friend then we fall back into our love again i can control a lot of things but i cannot control my dreams (oh no) we kiss you turn into a worm i slurp you down i feel you squirm and you know i want you inside me two droplets combine and when we are one then this all will be done
7.
let's pretend you love me please don't ask me why use that little head of yours lord knows i've used mine yes i've seen such visions make me a magician and bring 'em to life come a little closer wanna feel you on my skin i'm so full of caves where the sun's never been oh won't someone fill them i guess it would kill them the caves grow the more you go in but i believe in other worlds in other worlds where i get what i need in other worlds, in other worlds somewhere inside of me oh! let's pretend my beauty could ring out like a bell not some wet crustacean crushed up in its shell the beaks come to peck me yeah eat me, dissect me that always that always goes well once there was a people who met all of my needs some sick men destroyed them slaughtered them like beasts don't know how i arrived here or why i'm alive here i guess i'll just have to go deep cuz i believe in other worlds in other worlds where i get what i need (i believe) in other worlds, in other worlds (i believe in) somewhere inside of me
8.
close my eyes what do i see a million hands held out to me what kind of people would let me just sleep in the gutter and what's left to take care of if we can't take care of each other my neighbor found me on my knees they sat me down by the apple tree i cried in their shoulder, oh what is this pain that i'm feeling they said babe, why don't you go up up to the house, up to the house of healing someone signed up to cover my shift someone else stopped to give me a lift up to that house on the hillside all covered in flowers they said we're here we're here to comfort to comfort your pain cuz your pain, cuz your pain is ours now i'll sing it for the lost ones who don't know what we mean WE ARE PEOPLE NOT CONSUMERS BODIES BREAK DOWN WHY SHOULD OURS BREAK SOONER WE ARE PEOPLE, THEY'RE THE LOSERS WE'RE GONNA GET WHAT WE NEED LATER OR SOONER close my eyes start to relax my worries melt like dripping wax a gentle voice says, you can tell us what's wrong when you're ready we know bodies are deep and deadly as the ocean but also they're waves in and out breathing certain and steady the healers guide me down these caves and i feel so blessed even through my pain i'm impermanent intricate glass for sensation to shine through and when you're feeling broken i hope they will help me be well enough to come and find you cuz close my eyes, what do i see a million hands held out to me i remember that place where they treat me gentle as a lover and what's left to take care of if we can take care of each other now one more time for those poor lost souls who've forgotten what we mean WE ARE PEOPLE NOT CONSUMERS BODIES BREAK DOWN WHY SHOULD OURS BREAK SOONER WE ARE PEOPLE, THEY'RE THE LOSERS WE'RE GONNA GET WHAT WE NEED LATER OR SOONER
9.
Rosie Cotton 05:37
i want to tell you i love you i know the ending is near the sky contorting above you i'll say it while we're still here i think about rosie cotton wrapping my arms around you sorry this world's so rotten sorry it's pierced you right through and if you sail away i'll watch my children play i'll name 'em after you i'll really miss you -- i'm glad you have rosie cotton i don't want all life to end you've kept me going so often and i've loved being your friend and when i'm sailed and gone your children sing their songs i might be singing too i'll really miss you -- above all rides the sun and stars forever dwell i will not say the day is done nor bid the stars farewell above all rides the sun and stars forever dwell i will not say the day is done nor bid the stars farewell

about

Little Booey Blue
CEE-004

“I Saved Up For Top Surgery & All I Got Was This Lousy Album.” kind of true. also wanna get my voice on record in case i ever go on T & lose it forever. trans stuff.

context: #hotgirlsummer, 2019. surgery, “i’m a sex god now!,” the nurses all crack up. watching /the favourite/ stoned & in love with my friend, oops. are my nipples gonna fall off?

afterwards: i went on a silent meditation retreat & had visions & Figured It All Out. newts, daddy long legs, pine needles.

during: brooklyn. sticky hot. went to school with nate but don’t know you /that/ well but we’re gonna spend nine 10-hour days together. owen wilson: “WOW.” indeed. (we’re jews so we can make jew jokes that i won't repeat here. or can we)

a lot of me crying. at what? all the pain i’ve ever felt which is in these dangd songs. crying cuz of my “beam of love" situation, cuz i’m sam & i can’t save frodo, cuz i’m frodo & i can’t be saved. this world. & how do we make “house of healing” fit. etc.

but also: sweet times, the sweetest. inky black rice from scoops, everything from scoops, the word “scoops.” the blue sky, the sun. chris thornton. all the jamaican food in lefferts, such abundance, unreal. gentry but trying not to be the worst. alley kittens. i bought a leotard at rainbow cuz i ran out of underwear

what about recording music? sometimes nate’s playing everything, i’m just on my stomach reading n.k. jemisin. sometimes it’s all me. i take off my shirt to sing because i can. a little self-conscious but “i want to feel like a raw nerve!” close my eyes.

a moment: me turning the RATE knob so so so softly, while nate presses keys, that warbly synth on “i’m alive.” so so softly so focused something flows through us, “we become music we become one” (don’t hate me) “VIBRATION”

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citations:

“we’ll never be as strong as them they got death on their side” is paraphrasing aurora levins morales paraphrasing roque dalton in her “v’ahavta” poem (www.auroralevinsmorales.com/blog/vahavta). in fact that poem is everything

“you have already arrived” is from /how to walk/ by thich nhat hanh

the song “house of healing” is from being a member of put people first! pa (www.putpeoplefirstpa.org)

the last verse of “rosie cotton” is from /return of the king/ book 6 chap 1.

credits

released March 26, 2020

Little Booey Blue by Booey Vortex
All songs by Booey Vortex
Produced by Nate Mendelsohn and Booey Vortex

Booey Vortex -- vocals, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, synth, harmonica
Nate Mendelsohn -- drums, bass, percussion, synth, clarinet, saxophone, background vocals
Christopher Thornton -- lead guitar on 1, 2, 4, 6

Engineered and Mixed by Nate Mendelsohn at Two Way Mirror and Figure Nate Recording
Mastered by Heather Jones at So Big Auditory

Album art by Booey Vortex
Photo by Gabriel Maxwell Freed

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Cows at the Edge of the Earth New York, New York

"not a label" ?

• a shared bandcamp / secret public web bunker from a bunch of friends who make music, sometimes together

• not a label ? just a bandcamp [and secret public web bunker]

• email nate [cowsattheedgeof
theearth at
gmail.com] with questions suggestions
etc
... more

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